Last Post!

Hey!

Well this is my last post, and I'm going to upload some photos of mum, pre and post cancer! You've probably been wondering what she looks like, so I'll do them this post.

This assignment has been really good. I hope I've helped people understand just a little cancer terminology, and share my experiences.

It has also been very therapeutic for me, and has helped me cope with just the day to day things, just by getting it all out of my head!

Cancer is such a hard thing to go through, mix that with being a teenager and all the pressure that comes with that, mix in a bit of school, and the pressure and stresses of looking after your mum and your sisters, as well as some cooking, cleaning and washing, and you've got yourself a very stressed girl! But this assignment has truly helped me.

If I can give any advice to someone who is going through this or their cancer journey is only just starting, is just take one day at a time and if you want to know whats going on, ask. I always found that i hated being kept in the dark, because my family thought I couldn't cope. But once I knew what was going on I felt heaps better.

My mum is the most amazing person in the world, and she gives me courage and strength to get through each day, no matter how hard it may be.

She is so beautiful, I love her heaps :)

Bye! and thanks for reading and commenting.

Second last post!

Hey Bloggers J

Really not sure what I’m going to write about tonight! As this will be my second last post, and I’m pretty sure I’ve covered everything.

Tonight Mum and I went to an appointment, which my grandma drove us to, because Mum can’t drive. Which does get really really annoying! L

The appointment was actually for me, because I’ve been having so many headaches lately, and the doctors are trying to find out why. So he said that I need to go to hospital for a whole week, and have electrodes stuck on my head and monitored. I’ll also have to stay up till 12am, and wake up at 5pm, so I’m sleep deprived to see if that affects my headaches!

But I have to admit having Mum there by my side, it really comforting, she’s really good at reassuring me that everything will be fine J

I seriously have the best Mum in the world J

Byeeeeee

A waiting Game.

If this whole cancer journey has taught me anything its patience. And I still struggle.

Okay, July 2009, everyone’s happy and healthy and were just living our lives. One morning, Mum wakes up with a sore neck, we all think nothing of it and she just takes panadol and goes to work.

Next morning, pain gets worse. Goes to doctors. Doctor prescribes heavier pain relief. Takes Panadeine Forte. Doesn’t do anything.

Next morning, still in agony. Goes to doctor. Doctor says go to chiropractor. Mum refuses, knowing it will make her neck worse.

Begs doctor to do scans. Doctor sends her off for scans.


Finds out, that its secondary cancer in the top two vertebrae’s of her neck. Devastated.


That was just a bit of a rundown of how it all happened. That night we were staying with Dad. And he said we were going to Mum’s house for dinner and a chat. I was so tired and kept asking if I could stay home. Dad kept saying no. I didn’t understand.

We pulled into the driveway at mums. My aunties’ three cars we parked out the front. And I immediately knew something was wrong.

We walked inside and Mum was sitting on the floor with my aunties and they all seemed really weird. Mum slowly told us, that she had gotten our favourite people over to help soften the news.

She told us that the sore neck she had been getting was cancer, and that we would try chemo, and radio, and everything else, but once it’s in your bones, there wasn’t much hope. The one thing that she said that made me cries, and when I say cry, I really mean ball, and actually hurt when you cry was,

“It might be my turn to go.”

I just cried and cried and cried. It just wasn’t fair. It seemed unreal. Like what mum was saying wasn’t true.

But were all still going, apart from the fact that, chemo hasn’t worked. So maybe it is her turn to go. But who knows, it could be yours tomorrow.

Make everyday count.

Ready, Set, Cancer.

Well this assignment is pretty much over, and I only have 6 blogs. So I have to write about something!

I might just tell you about when we found out about Mum's initial breast cancer. And what we felt and how we all got through it.

It was just a normal Saturday afternoon, and because my Mum and Dad weren’t together we were at Dad's house, when Mum came over looking like she had been crying.

She sat us all down and told us, that she still had to have a few more tests, but the doctors were pretty sure that the lump in her breast was cancer, and that it had spread to the other breast and her lymph nodes.

Can you just imagine for one second, a 12 year old girl, has just found out that her Mum, her favourite person in the world, has cancer, and needs surgery, chemo, radio, and more surgery, and things will never be the same again.

Pretty overwhelming hey?

When I heard the news, there was nothing I could do, I couldn’t look at her, and I couldn’t look at my family, they were all so devastated.

But the only thing that kept me going was one thing that Mum kept saying.

"I'm not going to die."

So within a week or two, she was in surgery having both her breasts removed, and reconstructed.

Then it was chemo. That was hard. They say the first round hits you the hardest.
And it did. But, it worked. And Mum was in remission.

For at least 8 months, things were normal, they were better than normal. Everyone was happy.

Then July 2009. Mum woke up with a sore neck.

And it all began again.

Talk soon!Chels

Just another day.

Getting up for school was really hard this morning. Mum is not well and not sleeping so last night seemed to go forever, worrying about whether she was okay, if she was warm, or if she was even inside.

I kind of like it that she stays awake; it seems to be our quiet time, just me and her, hanging out and talking about everyday stuff. But it is so hard, when I come home from school, and I have something really interesting to tell her, but I have to wait like 3 hours until she even starts to wake up.

I’m pretty sure Silverchain are meant to be coming over this afternoon, to check her over, and see if she needs anything. They’re really good, and help us keep Mum at home rather than in hospital.

At the moment, she's probably at home by herself, watching Oprah and eating ice cream, something that sounds pretty good to me right about now.I haven't got very much to tell you really...... today I kind of just feel numb, like Mum’s not sick, and everything is just normal. I feel nothing.

But I think that’s all part of this process. Well that’s what Mum says anyway.

“All is well in my world”, one of mum’s favourite affirmations. And if I say it enough times, it does start to calm you down.

Crunch time.

Hey Bloggers,

The weekend that has just passed has been really hard. The decision was made to stop chemotherapy, and just manage Mum's pain.

The chemo that Mum was on, is just too harsh and is doing damage to her body, and just doesn't seem worth it. Unfortunately, there is nothing else we can do, and she has had as much radiotherapy as her body can handle. If we were to do anymore it would start to damage her spinal chord, the thing that sends messages from your brain to your limbs and other organs.

So, at the moment, Mum is pretty down and feeling like she has no choice but to give up. And that is how the rest of the family are feeling too. I guess we just have to sit there and watch it spread, and try our best to keep her out of pain.

I'm going to tell you this story about our Aunty Avis, and Aunty Lahni. Lahni is 40 and has four kids. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and was given a year to live. Aunty Avis is Lahni's mum, so while Lahni was sick, she prayed and prayed that she would get the cancer, and Lahni's would go away. So Lahni went for a check-up and the doctors were amazed, there was not one sign of cancer.

Meanwhile Aunty Avis wasn’t feeling too well, and went to the doctors; tests confirmed that she was completely riddled with cancer. In the end it spread to her brain, she became really loopy. And after 4 months, she passed away, an absolutely devastating event for our family.

Believe it or not, wishing for someone’s pain to go away doesn’t always make the situation better, we got to see Lahni live on, but we can only now remember Aunty Avis.

But one thing I can promise is now matter how bad things got in the end, I only remember all the good things about Aunty Avis, and somehow I hope that when something happens to my Mum, I’ll be able to pull through and remember only the good things too.

Sorry! Bit depressing today, but that’s what's going on!

Chels.

Rainy Day.

Hey!

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. Things have been pretty "full on" at home. Mum has been going down hill very quickly, and this ir sure to result in another trip to hospice.

Caring for her is a full time job, and can be quite tiring.Her feet and legs are still swelling and causing her so much pain. The other day she went to the oncologist (cancer doctor) and although it sounds absolutely ridiculous, and as much as i disagree with her, she says the swelling is in fact not swelling or fluid, but fat.

Now Mum definitely isn’t the most elite athlete, but before all of this was a size 10, and is now an 18. And I know I said her diet isn’t that fantastic, but surely, fat doesn't cause pain. Anyway, she decided to take Mum off chemo, and see if that did anything, which still hasn’t.

Also, Mum's meds have changed, well they're always changing and now they Ketamine, that usually comes in a lozenge, now has to be given to her in an injection form, due to the manufacturer's discontinuing the lozenges.

As hard as it is to sit here and blog to you, and try and tell you that everything is going to be okay, and just talk about the practical stuff, sometimes you have days where the practical stuff just doesn’t matter, and all you want to do is be at home just hanging out with her, and just being together, because who knows how much longer I’m going to be able to do that.
One of the hardest things is coming to school, it feels like such a waste of time, when I could be at home with Mum, just chilling or helping her out.

But, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Bye for now :)

HomeTime!

Hey!
Mum has been updating me, each day from melbourne and letting me know what she's been up to and how she's feeling. I have lots of photos to put up so will do that tonight, after I cook dinner :)

She said the flight was really long, and that by the time they got to melbourne she was really exhausted. She had to get someone to wheel her of the plane! Hahahaha. But once they grabbed their baggage, and got going, she was okay. They stayed with Mum's friend Todd, who has a beautiful house somewhere close to the airport.

I guess you could call my Mum a bit of hippy. She loves really wierd stuff like indian drumming, insence, candles, weird music, all that sort of stuff. And when were at home, my house constantly smells like insence ad fresh air. Which is kind of nice. Well i miss it when she's not there.

She always has some sort of candle going, and some weird music.So when she was in melbourne, she found the victoria street markets, she was in heaven! She will probably come back with an extra two more suitcases!

Because of all the medication, she has trouble stomaching food. So her diet now consists of, Icecream, Royal Gala Apples, Lollies (of any kind!) and Coffee, and the occasion Lemonade. So I'm tipping that she found amazing icecream shops, and lollie shops.

Well, she's home tonight, another mid-night flight home. But i can't wait to see her. I know i said that it puts pressure on me when she's home, but since she's been gone, I've realised that as long as were together, nothing else matters.

She's my world, :) And for the record, My best-friend in the world :)

Woaaah, i hope that doesn't seem gay. Ha. Byeeeee! xx